Self-critcism

No Dickheads Policy! Stop being a dick to yourself!!

Self-criticism fires up your brain’s threat system. Your brain treats harsh self-talk as actual danger. Saying “I’m a failure” (that’s a polite version) hits your system the same way as if I looked you dead in the eyes and yelled, “You’re an absolute failure.” Your body doesn’t instinctively care whether the threat comes from the outside world or your own head.

That internal attack lights up the amygdala, insula, and hypothalamus, which then flip on the sympathetic nervous system - your internal alarm system, the machinery behind fight-or-flight.

Self-criticism = the smoke alarm going off. Smoke alarm = automatic stress response.

Do that day after day and it becomes a chronic stress load - your system stuck on high alert. Over time, that’s linked with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even cardiovascular issues.

Put simply: it’s not bloody good for you.T

he flip side? Skills like soothing self-talk, imagining someone supportive, treating yourself like you actually give a shit about your wellbeing (or at the very least, the way you treat your dog - because let’s be honest, most of us show more kindness to our pets than we ever show ourselves), and slow, controlled breathing activate the parasympathetic nervous system - the body’s calming, recovery system.

That system turns down the alarm, shifts you from “danger” to “safe with others”, and brings everything back toward baseline - heart rate settles, breathing steadies, muscles relax, thinking clears.

Self-compassion isn’t fluffy psychobabble - it literally shifts you out of survival mode and back into a regulated, connected state.